My dearest son,

There is so much that I want to share with you.  So much I want to give to you to help you with your life’s endeavors.  You are only 23 months old now and already you have such a personality.  You are so intelligent and articulate.  I can’t wait to be able to have those man-to-man talks with you and give you my input on those things that are important to you.   1st things first.  I love you more then anything in this world.  There is nothing more important to me then you and your well being.  As a father, I want to be able to provide you with the tools you will need to make it in this world.  It’s not always easy but there are things you can do and decisions you can make that will make life a joy for you.

Son, one of the first lessons I would like you to learn is that, you can never know everything.  There is always room to learn.  Throughout your life travels you should always be a seeker of knowledge.  Continue to grow.  Continue to ask questions.  Question yourself and always ask why?  If you understand the “why” it will help you make better decisions in life.  And with every decision you make, always always consider the consequences.  How it will affect your future both short term and long term.  And if you make a decision that was not so good, always be prepared to deal with the consequences of those actions.  That is not to say accept anything that comes at you relating to that decision.  What I’m saying Domonick, is to be prepared to deal with what ever the consequences is, take responsibility for your actions and correct what ever is in your power to correct.

I want you to grow to be a strong young man but not a bully.  I would like to see you become a man of principles. To have compassion for others yet stand up for yourself. Be humble and stray from being arrogant.  Arrogance is a quality that is really distasteful in the eyes of others.  Although it may appear to be strong in your eyes others will see you as a dick.  I want you to be a good person.  And I would like to see you stray from trouble.  Men in our family have seen their share of trouble.  We’ve been to the penitentiary and in and out of jail.  I want to break that cycle.  I want better for you.  I love you so much and there is so much I want to share with you to help you grow and prosper in life.  It’s important for me because once you were born; I stopped living for myself and started living for you.

I know that your life is your life.  I don’t want to be the kind of father to have my son live for me or force you to a lifestyle that you do not care for.  But I feel it is my responsibility to guide you in the best way I can.  And be there for you when you have those difficult decisions to make.  You may hear me speak of decisions a lot.  The decisions that you make will determine the type of man you will grow to be and the type of life you will make for yourself.  That’s why I will be here for you to be your back when you need.  I will let you know what I would like to see from you.  Just know that if I want it for you, you can best believe it’s in your best interest.

Drugs:  Just say No.  Weed, pills, sniffing, snorting, shooting up and what ever else they have out there in your day in terms of chemical abuse.  Why?  Because I want you to be able to obtain a good job and not worry about being drug tested.  I would like to see you be a man that can use his own mind and not need the assistance of a chemical substance to be yourself and to be creative.  And I want you to have a long life. You have a beautiful mind.  Son, don’t destroy it by contaminating it with that shit.  Don’t believe the hype.  Neither Uncle Greg nor Uncle Marcus has your best interest at heart.  Drugs are not cool.  Your daddy does not condone the use of drugs. Your Daddy do not use illegal drugs of any kind.  Those who truly love you and have your best interest at heart would not encourage you to engage in activities they know are detrimental to you or your future.  Enough said? 

I know it seem as if I’m jumping right into the guts of things.  Serious and strait to the point.  But remember, I am many years your senior.  Sometimes I worry that I won’t be around to tell you all the things I need to before I am called to leave this earth.  But know that at this time in your life, I am spending quality time with you, loving you and raising you.  Making sure that you are having fun and that you are healthy and well taken care of. You will have plenty of photos to reflect on our relationship and know that your Daddy was with you from the beginning and remained steadfast by your side till my dying day. Know that you are an extension of me as we are and extension of my father Robert Lloyd Sr. and he his Jeffery Herron.  I have composed a biography of my life on the website herron-world.com under the link the man, so that you might draw from my experiences and learn from the lessons I have learned throughout my life.  I understand that sometimes your own experiences are the best teachers but in learning my experiences you might understand how it is that I have got to the place that I am at and it may help you to avoid some of the mistakes that I have made in my time.  Yes, I’ve made mistakes.  A many of them but the secret is to learn from them and to grow from them.  I worry that you will get in trouble someday, and not necessarily of your own accord.  Sometimes, just the mere color of your skin place disadvantages on you and often make you a target for racism, discrimination and hate.  But regardless son, always be proud of who you are.  You have the best of both worlds being Mulatto.  Stand on that.  Don’t ever let anyone make you feel less.  And always remember that you are not better then the next man either.  Hate works both ways.  Don’t be a hater yourself Domonick.  We are better then that.  Have pride in who you are but not so much pride that you can’t recognize when you are wrong.  You have to know when to humble yourself.

When you were born, your mother thought you were Uncle Marcus’s son.  I remember when you were in your mama’s stomach, She had some complication’s and had to go to the hospital.  She and I were really good friends and she called me to let me know that she was at the hospital.  I came up to be with her and heard your heartbeat for the first time.  My heart went out.  I couldn’t believe the feelings that came over me.  I was actually overwhelmed.  I didn’t know at the time that you were mine.  Your mother assured me that the timing was all wrong.  But I felt you son. The feelings were so strong.  I thought maybe because I was so close to Uncle Marcus and your mother.  They were both my best friends.  When you were born, I came immediately to the hospital with Uncle Marcus to welcome you into the world.  When I held you and saw you, I knew you were mine.  My heart went out to you.  I could feel you to the soul.  I told Uncle Marcus that I feel you.  He told me that he could not feel you like he felt his girls when they were born.  My world had changed. 

We have to talk about Pam, my beloved wife at the time of your birth.  We have to talk about Shanna, your Nana and my relationship with you mamma, my baby mama.

I wanted you for many years.  I tried so hard to have you.  Pam and me spent so much money trying to have a baby.  We tried artificial assimilation.  It came a point in our marriage where we just no longer had sexual intercourse.  It appeared she lost hope in having a child but I still wanted to have one very bad.  I always told myself that I would be a good Daddy if I ever had kids. The sexless marriage went on for about 3 years.  This is not a justification; it’s just the fact. Your mother and me were really good friends.  We use to flirt with each other all the time.  I liked your mother from the first time I saw her.  She was crazy and fun to be around.  She was also married and having problems in her relationship.  We found comfort in each other.  We made no demands on each other.  We just enjoyed each other’s company and could talk about everything.  And we did a lot of things together.  Worked on projects together and worked on the same jobs with each other.  I thought she was so sexy and often let her know it.  She had made up her mind that she was divorcing Buck and moving on with her life.  You can talk to her about the details of that.  But she and I decided that we would find comfort in each other. We understood each other’s situation and went from there.  We made love and had sex and did all that playful girl and boy stuff.   During that time your Mama got pretty sweet on Uncle Marcus and chose him as her boyfriend.  She and I were no longer having sex, so it wasn’t  out of the ordinary that she believed she was pregnant by Marcus.  I was still married and not planning on leaving my wife.  I did love her so vary much.

You were born,  I knew you were mine.  I told Uncle Marcus not to sign paternity for you because I know that you are mine.  I fought for you from the beginning.    I was not about to let another man claim my boy.. So convened I was that I had your mama go to the State building and I signed paternity for you July 20 2004 and gave you my last name.  I contacted child support and gave them all of my information for them to start deducting child support.  Every one still was not convened that you were mine.  I ordered a paternity DNA Test.  I came to your daycare and swabbed your mouth and swabbed mine and the results came back that Domonick Isaiah-Robert Herron is 99.9993% Robert L. Herron’s son.  : D  No Doubt.  So Dnick, That’s how it all began.

Your Nana love you boy.  She was there from the beginning.  She supported me in every move that I made when it came to you.  That’s how she won my heart.  What can I say about Shanna?  She got up in the wee hours of the night to change your stinky diapers, fed you, and rocked you to sleep when you were in your crying stage. Only a month old and she was there for you.  It started when I told Pam that you were mine.  Pam was so upset.  You see even though we were having problems, to her I violated our marriage by having relations with your mother.  She was so hurt and disappointed.  She was angry with me.  I had already made arrangements with your mother that I would have you every Tuesday.  Well I started bringing you to the house and Pam had resentments.  She felt that I was forcing you on her.  She felt that I was putting you and what I did to her, in her face.  She and I owned a nice 4-bedroom home in Lincoln.  It had a big back yard and big gorgeous trees.  I liked having you at the house.  I was hoping that Pam would accept you and we could raise you together.  I was not about to beat myself up about you being here.  I was father and I loved my son.  I also loved my wife, but once you were born, my life belonged to you.  And whatever sacrifices I had to make then so be it.  Another Tuesday came and Pam was not happy with me bringing you to the house.  I took you to the Park.  Your mom did not have wipes in the diaper bag and you had pooped.  I was so mad that I could not bring my son to the comfort of my home and change you… It was an inconvenience.  Your mama came and bought me wipes.  I worked with Nana and we had become good friends.  She was there when I was comparing the pictures of  me, you and Marcus on the internet saying this is my son.  She offered me a key to her place, so that anytime, I wanted to spend time with you I could use her place.  I did.  We had many quality days at Shanna’s place when she was at work or school.  It came to a point that Pam wanted us to separate because she could no longer deal with the situation.  Shanna opened up her apartment for me.  I stayed with her for awhile until I got my own apartment.  We became pretty steady lovers and spending a lot of time with you.  No longer did I have to have you only once a week, I got you as much as I could.  Three times a week.  You were only a month old. So things were moving pretty fast.  Me and Pam decided to sale the house and she moved to Wisconsin.  I stayed here with you.  Because of the type of person Shanna was,  I decided that we should invest in a house together.  We did so that we could pull our resources together for you and Shae. 

Pam called and wanted to give it a try again after moving to Wisconsin.  I made arrangements with your Mom that we would have split custody 6 months apiece until you were 5 years old.  And then one of us would have you during school and the other for summer vacation and holidays.  You and I went to Wisconsin and you stayed with Pam and me for 2 weeks, then 2 weeks with your mother.  When it came time for the 2 month for you to come back, Pam was not in the right place for me to bring you back.  So with that I had made up my mind that we were not going to be able to make it and resolve our differences and I chose that day to move back to North Dakota so that I could be near you and help raise you as I was now so dedicated to do.  I knew then that I had made the right decision to keep the house that I bought with Shanna. 

Domonick, You have been such a joy to me, and everyone that you’ve come in contact with thus far.  I am so proud of you and so glad that you are my son.  I love you with all my soul.  I now have you 4 to 5 days out of a week for the last past year.  Your mom and me work well together with your upbringing.  I have proposed to Shanna, I think that she will be good for me and you and we both love her so vary much.  I don’t know what the future will bring but I do know that what ever it is,  I hope that the things I do add to your life and equip you with the necessary tools to become a fine man and will assist you to be productive in life.  Son, do not just exist in this world.  Live life to the fullest.  Be safe when taking chances.  Life is full of risk.  By all means take them but be careful.  Think before acting.  Reason instead of jumping to conclusions.  You are a Herron and there is a lot to be said about that.  Stand proud and with your head held high. Be consistent.   And when you need to make a decision, STOP.

To stand still result in the settlement of mind

The settlement of mind into tranquility

Tranquility into wholesome thinking

And wholesome thinking into Great Accomplishments.

Then make your decision. 

Sex.  Be safe son.  HIV is real.  Get pussy, no doubt, but rap it up. Know that every time you have sex you gamble with getting a girl pregnant or passing or receiving an STD (sexual transmitted disease).  AIDs is real.  It will kill you and it is here in ND and all over America.  I want you to have children; I know that you will be a good daddy too.  But if you have a kid before you are old enough to care for him/her then circumstances may not allow for the best care for your kid.  Think about this very seriously.  Life is precious and a parent’s role is crucial to a child’s development and status in later life.  I’m saying if you and the girls you date are sexually involved and you are not in a position to take care of a baby, that put your child at risk, possibly even danger.  Be responsible when it come to sex.  If you do get a girl pregnant, own up to your responsibility, no matter what the circumstance.  Your child is your child.  Be the man. 

This letter is just a brief overview of some of the things I want to share with you.  There is so much more to be said but this kind of sum up the surface of some of the issues I feel is important to your upbringing.  Remember, I love you with all that I am and I am here for you.  I am your father, your daddy.  No one has your best interest at heart more then me and no one love you more then me.  I’m sure your mother would disagree but J.  In my heart I can’t imagine a stronger LOVE then mine.  Because mine is infinite.

Always your Daddy,

Robert Lloyd Herron II